Jesus as an Emergent Talker
Nov 11th, 2008 by John
Exhausted from global warming in oppressed Palestine, Jesus chilled at Jacob’s Well in the realm of “the other” called Samaria.
Jesus’ cohort left him to buy organic at the nearest kiosk.
A Samaritan woman-”the other to the second power”-approached the community’s gathering space, carrying the symbol of her status in a harsh patriarchal culture.
Jesus said, “Water is good. Water is to be shared. Water is life. May we share in a drink of water together?” He lit two candles, too, symbolizing the two flames of life at the well.
The woman replied, “I am in the oppressed class–a Samartian–and you are in the religiously oppressive class–Jew. I am victim. You are power. How is it that you encounter me in an egalitarian way in a world of power-assigned values?”
Jesus pushed back, “Woman, I am post-Jewish. I am post-Second Temple Judaism. I am assigning new symbolic value to people, places and religion itself. I am on a journey through liminal space into the emerging reality.”
“Friend,” the woman asked, “what will this new reality be?”
Jesus continued to dialogue with the woman, “I don’t know. No one knows. We see through a glass darkly. We are simply deconstructing the old and hoping to see the new emerge. No one can step up and lead, of course, for leadership is a carryover of oppressive power categories incarnate now in the regimes of Rome. We must feel our way into the new world and will know it intuitively. To grope is to grow, we say.”
“Cool,” said the woman, “You give me hope as a worshiper of G-d. I thought you Jews had a corner on G-d and we Samaritans were outside the centered set where G-d lives.”
“Oh no, no, ” Jesus demured, “that is so wrong! No one owns G-d. G-d is not definable. G-d is the ineffable mystery. All our language about G-d only conceals G-d; constructing propositions does not reveal G-d. Let it go. Even more, all we have received about G-d as true has been shaped by alliances with power. Be suspicious. Yet know that I am emergent. I am come to speak truth to power. You have to dismiss some of your received thinking. Let me unpack this for you. G-d is accessed communally, not individually, and however the community defines G-d that is true G-d for that particular tribe. There is no one true ‘G-d’ for all people.”
The woman smiled, responding, “I am so hopeful because even in my societal weakness and personal brokenness, I feel that I am more qualified than the religious power-brokers to find G-d. I am an authentic seeker.”
“Seekers are finders,” Jesus warmly replied.
The woman paused a moment before she spoke. Then she confessed, “Did you know I am living with a man who is not my husband? I have had five husbands already. I will form a loving community of multiple-husbanded women and there encounter and define a loving G-d for us.”
“Yes, yes, you are the messiah for your niche. Welcome to the wonder of liminal space. Your loneliness gives you the moral authority and right to live with whoever and with as many people as you wish.”
Jesus’ cohort returned and shared double-shot mocha breves with all, wondering among themselves what the two candles meant.
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Too funny, John! Well done!
Hilarious!
Too funny! Thanks!
you left out the word “unpack” … much edgier and daring than the fundie script. you’ll take a smack down for this one I suspect.
Fantastic. Really like the fundy one. Absolutely love this one. What’s next!!!
Jan (#4),
Read again. You’ll find “unpack.”
John, Thanks again. You should write another book from this framework with regard to the emergent Jesus, the fundamentalist Jesus, etc. Does make a good, important point, I think. And funny.
John,
Well done. This and the previous post were very, very good. You are such a good writer.
[...] spoke like a post-modern Anglican, his encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well might have gone something like this. Exhausted from global warming in oppressed Palestine, Jesus chilled at Jacob’s Well in the realm [...]
oh phew. I thought you left it out and it’s my favorite.
Hey… have you read The Soul Tells a Story?
hey – if you write that book, i better get a little credit as your mentor.
Jan (#11),
Ah, yes, the old mentoring ploy. I will certainly give you some credit.
Ploy? Ploy? Ok. the next nudge will cost you.
Twenty Items of Interest (v.39)…
1. Justin Wise asks “how can we be more intentional about “cutting the fat” in our churches?
A great discussion to have. Being a pastor and before a youth pastor we seem to be addicted to our programs. I remember wh…
[...] Jesus as an Emergent Talker — a little on the chilling side. [...]
Now that’s funny.
Dear John! This is good…..and full of witts! Perhaps a ministry could arise from here? And maybe….just maybe… some will catch on…OR, we can just send them onto the next passage where Jesus once again has “to teacher the wise better understandings” …Matthew 26:6-13…again, and again…..and again. We can only Pray for Jesus second coming…and then maybe, they’ll all just “Get it!” This was fun…really fun!!!!
Always remember…a little on the chilling side of things IS how Jesus taught His disciples to learn truth….hummmmm…
[...] would tell what had happened there and in the second post he wrote the story in the way that an Emergent Jesus would tell the story. I’ve always been extremely wary to categorise myself as a certain type of [...]
[...] 19 November, 2008 by glenscriv This is hilarious! [...]
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